everything i'm not

2008-04-08T16:22:00.002+08:00

Father I have sinned, cant i leave this shyt alone
Help me find my way. and give every effing thing up
Remember not my sins, but i cant just seem to let go-
Just let me hear You say: and that fucked up hurt lingers.

I forgive you, we're finally starting to come clean
I love you, and i guess it's time
You are mine, 'cause knowing someone cares
take my hand, really makes you fine
Go in peace, does it really matter how it'll end?
sin no more, 'cause all along,
Beloved one. i thought only the process mattered..

Father I have turned, the way you look at me
My back and walked away. just melt the heart in me
Depended on my strength, the way you smile so sweet

And live life my own way. just make my heart go *tweet*

I forgive you, i've never blamed you
I love you, i've always loved you
You are mine, for now and forever, you are mine.
take my hand, i am with you
Go in peace, trust in me
sin no more, and we'll be
Beloved one. that one true thing..

Father i’ve returned, let this be the final time
I’m here with you to stay. that we do this shytty talk
Standing by your door, for now we know that it is true
Hoping that you’ll say: i love you with all i've got

I forgive you, though we know this will never end,
I love you, our love thusforth will too stay strong;
You are mine, but all we got now is this song..
take my hand, to love you forever more,
Go in peace, we've accepted this' a fact-
sin no more, so now we gotta stay intact,
Beloved one. my beloved one..

2008-03-22T01:38:00.000+08:00

I've moved AGAIN!

2008-03-16T20:56:00.003+08:00

i guess it says it all, ~~everything im am not~~

those empty words don't mean a thing,
those hollow hearts can't feel a thing.
yet somehow, all i hear, are the empty words.
yet somehow, all i feel, are the hollow pain.

do you believe there's a soulmate for everyone'
do you believe there's everlasting love from someone.

to no extend could you protect me less
to no extend could you betray me more

all i need now, i believe, is a sign.

someday this temper of yours is going to screw your life..oh wait, it already did.

-not stella.

SURPRISE!

2008-03-16T02:39:00.002+08:00

CHERLY'S PARTY WAS BEYOND AWESOME! THANKS BABE!

Everyday seems like a lie, Full of surprises, sometimes agony and realisation of things you rather be kept in the dark forever. Fun doesn't last forever same goes to love. I am not least convince love actually last. Ironically, I think relationship does. Just how superficial it is. In those moments when a physical being is there I hope that time will come to a standstill and it lives on tomorrow. The truth is, today and tomorrow just do go too well together.

I have this habit of fighing for what other's have and what everyone else wants. It's all coming back now. I want fight for what I want. I want to win all over again. More than ever, I feel so determine and ________ to GET what I want all to myself and call it my own! The adrenaline rush from success is probably better than sex. To some, what I am doing may be an ugly astonishing truth well, you ain't alone. I myself find myself ugly and astonishing too.

It all started with ignorance and sub-consciousness I really did not know what I was doing then but now it's a matter of choice. When everything seems as if I know what I want, I secretly do not really know what I want. I secretly want to give up and lead a simple life. Somehow or rather I just can't! I just cannot let go. I just want to prove I'm better than others.

I WANT TO BE SKINNY! I WANT TO EXCEL IN EVERYTHING THAT I DO! I WANT TO WIN!I

know that one day I will lose everything. Everything that I fought for. I will lose it, It's just a matter of time before I lose. When I lose, then will Iearn to stop snatching. It's going to be a lesson learnt hard if I don't stop.

Every year come lent, I will tell myself to give up on materialism, give up on jealousy, give up on superficial love and even give up on lust, and until today it still remains in me. I have a LLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG way to go, huh.The irony of it all is that I still want to go for missions trips. What a hypocrite.

If I promise that whatever I'm going to fight for will not jeopardise anyone's happiness, do you all trust me? It ain't excatly a rhetorical question, I still care y'know.
My happiness is somehow very superficial.

All my prayers go out to Saint Jude, patron Saint for the hopeless cases. I'm full so vices

On a lighter note, Easter is coming, New life, new hope, new chance, another baptismal vow.

I'm going to study the human brain one day.

2008-03-13T21:36:00.004+08:00

YOU MAKE ME WANNA RUNAWAY

perhaps you'll never understand the pain within'
perhaps you'll never realise how deep in hurts inside.

maybe one day i can call you up and tell you how he broke my heart,
maybe one day i can call you friend.

but now lil' girl;
but now sweet cheeks:

we're left on our own, stumble and fall,
with no one to help us, and no one to call.

don't you see what i see to0?
don't you feel what i do too?

aint nothing's ever gonna be the same-
aint nothing's gonna last forever.

well, i thought we 're different'
well, i thought we 're one.

now, i see that you and i are different'
now i see that you and i are broken.

i promised i wont give up,
i promised you my forever.

now all you gotta do is trust me,
now all you gotta do is believe.

who's going to believe i wont be hurt when i see you go?
no one-that is why i want you to be the first to believe.

we know there's something you're keeping from me,
we know there's something i ought to know.
tell me now, honey, before its time to go..

if you ever got a chance to tell me,
if you got a chance to know.

aint nothing's gonna tear us apart,
aint nothing's gonna tear us down.

i just want to runaway babe, i really do.
i just want to go away with you.

i feel the pain you do too, but all i can say is, i'm here, with you.

ALL I KNOW 'BOUT LIFE.
1. God loves you.
2. Life goes on.
3. I'm with you.

2008-02-24T20:05:00.002+08:00

GOOD RIDDANCE BLOGSPOT!

2008-02-23T23:49:00.002+08:00

Yellow house MUST WIN CHAMPION HOUSE this year! I am determine to win.

My sister's friends are over! DANG! I feel so alone! Well, if I had the TV it won't be all that bad!

I WANT A NEW LAPTOP! I'm fine with a Mac book too! My current laptop sucks! So damm slow! DAMMIT!! ARGHH! I WANT A NEW LAPTOP! I WANT A NEW LAPTOP! I WANT A NEW LAPTOP!

I'm so mad at Apple! They refuse to change my Classic for me! HATE THOSE SCRATCHES!

I WANT A SWATCH WATCH! There's something wrong with my Nike watch! I think it ran out of battery or something! So annoying! OH wells! It's a good excuse to buy a new one though! Swatch, anyone?

There's simply no pointing denying that I am materialistic, 'cos I know very well that I am. So much for Lent, huh!

Hmm, it's been more than a year since the last time I dated. I want a boy who never grows up! I don't want to grow up either. Realistically, it only happens in fairytale.

Therefore,

I wish upon a wishing star that my life may be like a fairytale.

2008-02-14T19:31:00.002+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

THANKS JACQUE FOR THAT LOVELY DAISY,
HIDAYAH for that pretty rose and
THONG SUFEN for that pretty pink rose!

With roses, chocolates, laces, ribbons and dates everywhere, I find myself stucked at my tutor's house having tuition. JUST GREAT! Even my little sister out with God knows who! hahas. ~~It's like the worst valentine's day ever!~~ COMPLAIN AND MORE COMPLAINS! That's all I ever do! Tuition wasn't all that bad! I'm just being whiny and wasted? Just didn't like the fact that I had to spend valentine's day at my tutor's place. Unnecessary emotions, feelings and complains like such, I find myself saying, 'SUCK IT UP! LIFE'S A BITCH!'

I really hate skinny people who eat and eat and DO NOT GET FAT!! ARSEHOLE! Training ain't working! I'm still growing fat!! I shall not eat after 9pm, NO chocolates, cookies and ice-cream! THEY ALL SHOULD GET OUT FROM MY SIGHT!

TOMORROW'S FRIDAY! ALRIGHT! :]]

I just can't stop cursing and swearing.

Thanks Caroline. Thanks for everything. I really do appreciate your presence, more and more.

KILL ALL THE SKINNY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD! Hahas.

2008-02-10T19:49:00.000+08:00

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

Another weekend just flew past! It was sheer fun! FUN FUN AND NOTHING ELSE! With a tiny bit of boredom though. Nonetheless, it's worth it! Charlotte and I had lot of fun going round ~~collecting 'ang-paos',~~ visiting friends and catching up with them.

Gambled none, but ate a whole lot of rubbish. These call for MORE TOUGH AND VIGOROUS TRAINNING! LOSE WEIGHT! LOSE WEIGHT!

Call me indecisive or whatsoever, but now, I want to go JC! Here's the bonus question, 'can I make it?' I suppose, studies come first before anything. Above all, I still have GOD!

I'm learning how to Rubiks cube from my younger sister now, it's terribly hard I SWEAR!

Now that celebration has come to an end, it's time for STUDY AND MORE STUDY! ARGHH!! We spend more than half our life time studying! 24 hours a day, 12 hours in school.

I had self-awareness camp last week but Jessica has most of the photos!! I WANT PHOTOS! I WANT PHOTOS!

Dosen't it take like just ONE working day to mail A letter? Well, the letter I posted to Godfather like two weeks ago hasn't reached him yet. He better receive it! It's written in CHINESE!
C H I N E S E, that is!

Note to self;
Things may change, personal touch may drift BUT relationship still remains the same!

Godfather never fails to make me happy.
& I love him so <3

2008-01-28T15:24:00.000+08:00

Weekend came and go JUST LIKE THAT!
Didn't enjoy at single bit. Saturday night totally stinks, Sunday started out ~~FUCKING~~ bad, worst of all, thoughts came so spontaneously and occupied my sleep. I felt really sad at the same time so self-absorbed, so full of myself. I guess I am too caught up with myself so much so that I 'can't be bothered' with anything/anyone else.

Things are so different now. Everything seem so distant, so out of reach.

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

Keep children out of reach.
Just so you know, I still consider myself a kid.

2008-01-27T02:25:00.000+08:00

Relationships are just so vulnerable and intangible. Perhaps one whole lifetime may not be enough to fully decipher someone.

Such feelings are inevitable. I have my insecurities too-lots of it. I suppose I got to convince myself more than anyone else.

In the midst of all these, I find myself lost in thoughts. In short, I'm lost.

*I need to learn how to let go of the superficiality.

2008-01-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

I fear having got to recongnise my own failure. Having got to admit defeat and the inablility to pick yourself up again. Doesn't feel all so nice.
I've also been scared of training. Scare that I under preform and stuff like such. I realise it's expectations from Coach that's why I feel this way. Someone whom Coach doesn't expect any result from compared to someone whom he wants a reasonably good timing, training is different altogether. BOTH mentally and physically tired! Sometimes, it just feel so demoralizing when you run so slow. I REFUSE TO ADMIT DEFEAT!

As coldplay sings, 'nobody said it was easy.'

Perhaps runnning was all along a bad choice.

Everything just seem so mix, so messy. I don't even know what I'm thinking.

2008-01-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

I think I detest Mondays. I get Monday's blues.

2008-01-09T19:42:00.000+08:00

~~I'm tired!~~ SCHOOL, homework, test, tuition, training and more homework! School's ending later with much more activities going on and tuition homework is piling. DANG! Every weekday, I just yearn for the weekend to come quick! Now, I understand why Joachim treasures his weekends so much. Then again, it's O's this year, I got to search my own conscience and decide how often can I really enjoy my weekends. ~~At least for now, school work is priority.~~ I THINK I have a life.

MY SISTER IS BACK!! I'm really glad that she is back. I appreciate her a lot more now and of course cherish her presence. I must say, she is really sensible. THERE THERE, all is fine, all is fine. Together with Godfather, She sure taught me how to be more grateful toward others.

I learnt a new word today : sodomy.

& yes, everything is just perfectly fine! I hope you are too! CELEBRATE LIFE, he says.
Tomorrow's thursday! (:

Ps, I think you are digusting.

2008-01-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

Everything is getting better. Thank you <3

2008-01-05T02:16:00.000+08:00

Nope, I think it's more than boys we are fighting over. It has been dragging on for a time too long, and the chances for salvation is as good as none. What do you want from me?

I am exhausted! For the whole of today I got to entertain the unknown sec ones and it's most tiring. School has been really hectic, at least for today. Meeting here and there and there's school's event preparation. Can't wait to step down from everything. I don't want to complain about anything 'cos it's of no use. 'That's life, suck it up!'

I'm trying my best to hang on to everything. It's tough. Wait for the breakdown.

hostility at it's best.

2008-01-03T21:12:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDFATHER!

I'm really getting used to school. Although it's only the second day of school but things seem better, since lessons are starting and teachers are already scaring us about O levels. It's a good start, I say.

OH! There's house day tomorrow! AND I GET TO SKIP LESSONS! It's ain't easy planning house day! Thus, the juniors better enjoy it and be appreciative of such fun orientation! They get like THREE days orientation WITH CAMPFIRE! I don't remember having that when I was sec one.

Tomorrow will be a good day. No training, get to skip lessons, get to go church, what more can I ask for?

WEEKENDS ARE COMING!

'Absences make heart fonder' -because you are important, therefore is true. If not, I say, 'good riddance'

I'm trying to blog more but sometimes is just too personal. Oh wells!

5 more days!

2008-01-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

I foresee a tough year ahead.
Though 2008 just started, but I'm already starting to have mixed feelings about everything. The weekly tests of every subject, trainings plus competitions. Then there's catechism, Charlotte is already thinking of backing out even before it start. It scares me- all of it.
~~I suppose~~ I could get used to this!

& I pray.

2008-01-01T10:36:00.000+08:00

SISTERS

true defination of sisters.

special

illustrious

someone,
tenderly

executing

ready

sacrifices

enough said, isn't it?

big sister;

this is for you, from us, both.

and just wanted to let you'll know.

didn't have a choice on family..guess we'd make the best of it?

babes;
forever, we'll stay strong, together.

shasha

my sister says i hate her,

she does, she does!

my sister says she hates me,

she does, she does!

my sister doesn't know that i love her,

she doesn't, she doesn't!

i don't know if my sister loves me,

she doesn't, she doesn't!

cma andrews

In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips. ~Author Unknown

DISCLAIMER;

im's not stella

2007-12-31T04:37:00.000+08:00

Things aren't always what they seem,
Life is full of ups and downs
Just got to brace yourself and things will be alright.
Faces are everywhere,
Sometimes, we just choose to ignore them.
She and I are still there,
Don't give up on hope just yet.
Trust changes it all,
Love rules it all.
The relationship that we shared,
So divine and pure,
Not like any others,
We had gone through a lot more.
Don't doubt what we have,
Cherish it before it's all gone.
Though things may change,
But our bond is so ever strong.
Your life is now part of mine,
How can I care less?
Your every word touches my heart,
It lingers and it lingers-not going away.
Rest assured, for you are the best person I can ever ask for.

Since the stars hang so high above everything else,
Why not give it a chance and wish upon one?

This is for you,

♥ I LOVE YOU

2007-12-31T03:20:00.000+08:00

He says, 'Game over'

Beautiful girl

God knows what they were doing

So, it's retro party. Supposedly a post-confirmation thing but the turnout was just average. Company makes a whole lot of differences.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVE TO ONE AND ALL!
I got to come out with resolutions soon! It's O levels! DANG!

2007-12-29T18:21:00.000+08:00

I would greatly appreciate if someone tell me what to do. I'm lost. I really don't know what to do.

The last thing I need is someone yelling at my ears. If caring for me means yelling and screaming. I rather be LEFT ALONE and be NOT CARED for.

2007-12-29T06:55:00.001+08:00

reflection.

check out dictionary.com and they'll give you ten different definitions of reflection.
the simplest and most common way to define reflection will then be, a bouncing of light off a surface, in other words, the image formed on, example, a mirror.

have you ever noticed yourself,
staring at your own reflection and not believing,
that it is you in that very reflection;

stand in front of the doors in the mrt, what do you see?
for some, it may be others, talking and stuff.
for others, they start admiring themselves..--.
move your eyes a lil' and look through that superficial side of yourself.
have you ever for a second thought;

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
mulan's lyrics.
reflection.

ironically, reflection also means a state at which you think through what you have done or what you are about to do.

its not about how you look on the outside,
its 'bout how you feel, on the inside.

a reflection is just a mirror of the way you act and the way you behave.

people are gonna JUDGE you, based on that..

but at the same time, who are they to, anyway?

its not about how people see you on the outside,

its 'bout how people feel you, on the inside.

DISCLAIMER;im not stella.

because you left her alone, she stood lost in the dark.
because you left her behind, she stood confused in the rain.

look deep into her eyes.
hear the sound of her heart.
feel the warmth of her hands.
taste the touch of her lips.
smell the sweetness of her soul.

because you didn't seem to care, she had to walk away.

because you didn't seem to understand, she couldn't get her way.
just 'cause you aren't there, doesn't mean she'll fall.
just 'cause you don't care, doesn't mean she wont be all.

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through

Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart

When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

2007-12-28T02:02:00.000+08:00

Godpa told me about his nightmare last night. Well, I suppose that was one of his biggest fear and somewhat his insecurities.

Having Joachim as my Godpa is probably the second best thing that had happened in my life, knowing Joachim himself is probably the best. I know I can count on him no matter what.

I do fear of losing him too, but if we both make effort to keep the bond to stay close together I suppose everything will be alright?

I'm glad Godpa and I share such a relationship! THANK YOU GODPA!

I LOVE MY GODPA! <3

2007-12-27T00:58:00.000+08:00

SETOSA WAS GREAT! COMPANY WAS BETTER! NO tann though.

Christmas! (:

Girl in disguise.

2007-12-26T01:36:00.000+08:00

I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!
I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!

2007-12-24T18:54:00.000+08:00

I am her pain and misery.
I just lost a sister. Maybe not. She has never treated me just her sister.
Fuck myself.

2007-12-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

Today was a bad and I blame ~~you JACQUELINE CHUA SI QI!!~~ no one.
Training is starting in 7 hours time. DREADFUL! What's more! There's FAREWELL!

Peace. I'm tired-mentally.

2007-12-17T01:23:00.000+08:00

Weekends was boring! It was probably the worst weekend ever! OH WELLS! I'm really glad that Godfather is back. I don't know why but I missed him. Absences really make heart fonder.
I THANK GOD FOR GODFATHER! WHAT A GODSEND! :]]

Two weeks.

2007-12-16T00:06:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY COUSIN! <3

2007-12-13T02:50:00.001+08:00

Good company make food good.
Thank you <3

2007-12-11T01:59:00.000+08:00

I don't understand why you hate me so much. Honestly, I don't think is me. Is YOU. Nothing I do pleases you. I give up loving.

2007-11-28T22:28:00.001+08:00

Godfather has been assuring me all these time but on my part I haven't.
So here is it, Thanks Joachim Lai. No regrets in asking you to be my Godfather-not at all. All these while you have been a wonderful Brudder. You have always been there waiting to hear me out. Telling me the right things to do. While ME your ignorant Godchild is really bad at listening. So, I'm sorry. Also, Sorry for making you sad all the time. You have been a GREAT BRU. Thanks.

On a heavier note, I'm really stress. Stress by my tutor! During the holidays! WHAT A JOKE!
NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT I CAN'T DO OR WHAT I AM MADE OF! I DECIDE THAT ON MY OWN! I got to constantly remind myself that.

I'm ~~a kid~~ growing more and more materialistic and indifferent. I need to build my relationship with God. HOW WHEN I AM SO MATERIALISTIC!

I need to change my attitude towards people.
1. stop being so judgemental
2. Listen to people more attentively
3. STOP TAKING PEOPLE FOR GRANTED
4. Be a better friend.
5. Stop being anti-social
6. Stop being a bitch

I suppose I really make a lousy friend. & a bitch to my older sister.

I MISS MY SISTER, MATE! <3

2007-11-27T23:12:00.001+08:00

I NEED A JOB! Does anyone want to offer?
I need to stop my spending habit!

I ~~WANT~~ NEED AN IPOD! BADLY!

So far away from home,
I really hope you are doing fine.
Gone so long,
Yet cherished memories still lingers.
The little girl that's in you,
Now so grown and refine.
Mama will be proud of you,
& your sister here yearns for your return.
I love you little sister.

2007-11-26T02:42:00.000+08:00

HEY GUYS! I'm too lazy to blog so PHOTOS shall do the talking.

I will always be there!

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!

Meet Norman

I LOVE YOU BESTFRIEND!

Thanks GODPA for all that you have done! YOU ARE AWESOME! I LOVE YOU!

Thank you Teck Guan! <3

THANKS FOR MAKING ME HAPPY!

In short, I went to ChiangRai for some CIP thing. Few days later I have confirmation camp which is necessary to prepare me for confirmation which just happened yesterday. However, in the midst of these preparation my sister and grandparents went to USA. God knows when they will be back.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE PRETTY ROSES AND SUNFLOWERS!

2007-11-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

I will be gone for the next 11 days people! FAREWELL!

2007-10-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

'Change is the only constant'. Despite that, the drastic change in you is appalling.

I WANT THE NEW PSP,
I WANT IPOD CLASSIC

All these sudden wants. SO MUCH FOR DETACHMENT! DANG!

THREE more days..

2007-10-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

Hello dearest friends.
So, have I been dearly missed?

If anyone of you out there hope that you will fall sick and lie on the hospital bed for the next few days, I urge you all to think again. You'll probably die of boredom in the hospital and not the reason of why you have been admitted for.

I SO DID NOT LOSE WEIGHT! Maybe just 1kg? BUT it will soon be gained back since I love to eat so much! I better watch my diet from now on. I swear I DO NOT want to go back there! NO FUN AT ALL! I'm serious! There's too many things to blog about at the hospital.

That day was such an uneventful day! Grandpa was hospitalised that same day as me. His was more serious. Seriously, there's too many things to blog about!

Here's something, TTSH has really really friendly doctors and nurses! They are rather pretty and handsome too! WHOA! I'm so inspired to be one of them in future.

Special Thanks to Joachim, Aaron, Caroline, Cheryl and of course Jacque who visited me.

*Especially Joachim who really touched me. Thank you oh so much, Bru! Thanks for being there. OH! For you lovely note too!

Not forgetting,
Cheryl for her HUGE and yellow sunflowers,
Jacque for accompanying me on my last day,
Teck Guan and Caroline for their time!

Currently, I'm really worried for them now. For the fact that my older sister just vomited twice. I think she caught my gastric flu.

I regretted eating 'Horfun' for dinner earlier. Though is less than a serving but the starch! YUCKS! I think my stomach still can't digest such starchy food since I WASN'T ALLOWED to eat for two days. My stomach feels funny. Nevermind. I have solutions.
#1 PRAY
#2 Turn in early
#3 PRAY HARDER!

I'll pray hard for those who visited me too!

(Jessica) Holding back all the words I said says:
How did you get food poisoning anyway?
(stella) FANG JUN says:
i don't know is just suspected
FANG JUN says:
just say gastric fly
FANG JUN says:
*flu
Holding back all the words I said says:
I don't know, I'll buy you some insecticide to kill your Gastric Fly
Holding back all the words I said says:
All I know I'll get you some insecticide cause insecticides help to kill Flies like Gastric Fly..
Holding back all the words I said says:
So then you'll be well
FANG JUN says:
I AM SO GOING TO BLOG THAT OUT !
Holding back all the words I said says:
Cool I'm like on 2 blogs in one day

'dead fishs in the market had seen better days'

Cheryl was being a total retard!

2007-10-23T22:12:00.000+08:00

A kid totally made my day today. So much so that I think I will dream of him tonight. Unfortunately I didn't have a chance to take a picture of'/with him. Thus, I together with my limited vocabulary, I present a brief description of him.
He is scrawny, pretty tall for his age, a pair of small eye with single eye lid, tan skin tone, and a seed-like face with a chin that is rather sharp. He's really mischievous but just like anyone of us he just keep one's constant assurance of his self-worth and what's he is capable of doing.
Getting him down to do his work was a challenging task. He would come out with ridiculous excuses and funny things to do just to waste time.
On a much lighter note, you have no idea how sweet he can be. Later part of the afternoon, he was given a muffin to munch on. For the fact that I was just a volunteer there, I wasn't given any therefore, being that little kid he is, he broke a small tiny piece of his muffin and gave it to me. Instantly, I was touched. Just by recalling how he put his hands over my left shoulder and placing his chin on my right shoulder, I really miss that kid. His name, David Poh.

~~Mission trip~~ Regional CIP trip to Chiang Mai is just about two weeks away.

GUESS WHAT!

Someone called.
Someone called on the behalf of Father Simon Pereira. He asked me if I was interested in going to Pattaya with the redemptorist team as there were vacancies and for the longest time ever I always wanted to go.
Comparing it with the mission trip my currently going, of course I would rather go with Father Simon Pereira! His mission: reach out to children and a bit of evangelizing at the same time whereas my school's ~~mission trip~~ regional CIP trip is to learn and just do manual work such as painting and cleaning.
I won't be so sure that my school's trip would be more enriching. I want to touch lives. PLUS, I LOVE KIDS! Father Simon would be visiting orphanages! School, some village! OH WELLS! I can't go for Father Simon Pereira's mission trip as Mom don't approve me going for two mission trips.
THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR!

2007-10-21T18:14:00.001+08:00

I feel happy. I don't know why, but I just feel happy.
For once, I truly think that I'm escaping. I cannot bring myself to think about how i fared for exam. Whenever I think of it, my thoughts instantly divert to something else lighter, something happier. I am lost. Something tells me I would not retain but something else tells me don't be so sure. I really do not know, personally.

OH! Want to know something funny? I scored 3/25 for SS source-based. Don't you people find it funny?

You don't have to be who you are not. Thus, you don't have to be happy if you are not. LET IT OUT! Shall we establish a good relationship all over again?

Joan Theng : You are a failure when you give up on yourself. Not when you fail your exam.
I feel at ease now. Thank you.

Yea, Diana deserve her good grades. Dayna and Charlotte too.

2007-10-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

For once, I don't feel like a kid.

Life's a JOKE! I realised I can't be alone. Being alone makes me think a lot, makes me feel lousy and useless about myself. Perhaps in a way is true but I really feel sad, depressed, devastated and disappointed. I feel that my life is being played by someone, watched by someone and that someone is being a bitch-totally cruel and indifferent.

Why is it until now He gives me the biggest downfall of the year? I just do not get it. Why is it until now then make me realise what a loser I am? Why is it until now then show me what You are made of?

It is most disheartening, friends.

Who scores 13 for Chinese compo? I thought 19 was bad enough.

Through out this whole year, I have never scored 'B' for Emath, whether is it a common test or major exam. It's always a distinction. Until now, I scored a fucking 'B'. I'm resigned. I suppose I'm really stupid and dumb. I swear I studied. In all honesty, I think I do deserve my distinction. I'm utterly disappointed. I ain't lamenting 'cos I am not regretting what I have done. I studied and it failed me. I'm just DUMB. It is utterly depressing.

Reminiscing mid-year's result for history. Incredibly I topped the whole cohort for history's section B (structured-essay). Now, I have failed that section, the lowest I have scored for a structured question so far. I'm USED TO being the top few in class for hist, I'm USED TO being one of the best.

Indeed, I'm an arrogant bitch. Is time to let go.

I'm drowned in my own disappointment. I don't understand how some people still can be so happy upon receiving their result when it ain't desirable at all? It's not easy being happy anymore. I'm a kid, no more.

This is getting me no where. I'm blaming everyone but myself. FUCK STELLA!

Does anyone out there understands how I feel? I better start reflecting.

I ain't smart, I ain't skinny, I ain't pretty. Life's tough.

'When you try so hard and you don't succeed,
When you get what you want and not what you need.'
How is life not a bitch?

I don't feel God's love. I'm fading away.

2007-10-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

I'm bored! Everyone's probably fast asleep! Oh wells!
I NEED A DRINK BADLY! But I'm too scare to walk to the kitchen by myself.

2007-10-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a fabulous day spent with Cheryl. It was definitely better than the day before. OH! We won this hamper from Marina Centre. They were actually desperately trying to give all away. It sure was heavy and we had to carry it all the way to Suntec so Cheryl can buy her ice-cream maker.

Today was a GREAT day too! With Girlfriend this time-Jacque. We ate A LOT! From place to place that we went, we kept on eating just to satisfy craving.
Thanks BABE! For spending your whole day's time with me! I LOVE YOU!

Everything was fine. Close to perfect. Until sunset. KEITH CHAN! HE WAS BEING SUCH A BITCH EARLIER! Totally ruined my whole day! FUCK! So pissed! ARGHH!
HELLO MR CHAN, YOU OUGHT TO LEARN SOME MANNERS! YOU SHOULD KNOW WHEN TO STOP TALKING! TOO FAR-that's how far you've gone.

To my very special and close friend.
CHEERS ON! I REALLY HOPE EVERYTHING is FINE! Please don't sad.

It hurts to see you like that.

2007-10-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

Hello commoners!

Wohoo! I'm done with exams-finally! I'm really glad everything is over. PLUS, Christmas is approaching! Since, exam ended!
I need funds! There's so much WANT and so little money! ARGHH!

Hi, do you want to be my friend?
I NEED to make new friends! I felt so bored yesterday! Oh wells! Today will be a better day! I'm suppose to meet Cheryl but I think she is still sleeping! WHAT A PIGG!

CHIANG MAI CHIANG MAI CHIANG MAI! I wonder what's installed for us.

I'm more excited for confirmation camp actually! Getting confirmed all. How exciting. I bet *ahem* will come together for Risen Christ's confirmation mass. DREADFUL! I HOPE WAN CHING COME! Is like more than a month's time away and I'm already speaking in much excitement!
Addison revealed something he said that, Caroline, Charlotte, Diana, Rachel, Sheena, Natasha, Clarissa, Tat, Vienna and I. Basically people whom we are close to, WILL NOT BE TOGETHER in the same group. OH WELLS! I hope I still get happening people!

OH YEA! I'm meeting Jauque tomorrow! It's been a while since we last went out together. CHEERS ON!

Is time to change my blogskin.

So, are you going to be my friend?

2007-10-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

ONE MORE DAY!

2007-10-08T15:49:00.001+08:00

I WANT TO BE HAPPY!

I'm sorry for the increase in the Fs and Bs I have been using lately. I will try and cut down after exam.

Exam is being a bitch! Full time bitch! ARGHH! I swear I'm going to retain or drop to normal or something! SCREW EXAM! Such bitches.

I have decided to go to Chiang Mai. Although rather reluctant but I'm sure it would be fun and worth it.
Joachim asked what's my cross, and in return I asked back, 'what do you mean by cross?' He said, 'something that will bring you closer to God.' Instantly, I thought of detachment. For the longest time ever I tried to cut my away from everything. I mean everything. I find myself far too materialistic. So, I suppose this would be a FABULOUS chance to detach myself everything. YEA.

THANKS DIANA! You were really encouraging. WHOA! I didn't see it that way.
Diana: For all you know you will score very well. 'Cos probably you are the only that chose Beneatha.

I admire Jemore's 'happy-go-lucky' personality. He's surely a happier ~~kid~~ person than I am. Thanks for hearing me rant and walking me home earlier!

Thanks Teck Guan for cookies!

& Charlotte, you and her will be just fine. Guys are whatever. Have a good talk with her.
Charlotte said, 'My thoughts are just like what a child is thinking, I should listen to my Mom 'cos she is more mature and she is seeing things from and adult point of view.' Later she added, 'Mom is always right' How innocent. True child, indeed.

Jacque, SUYWAY PLEASE!

I miss Caroline's presence.

Last but not least, thanks Joachim for placing your utmost trust in me.

2007-10-06T01:07:00.000+08:00

A Raisin In The Sun, Lorraine Hansberry.
There it was Beneatha, Lena and Ruth. Which one of these character appeal to you most?

My choice: Beneatha.

Someone shoot me! I think I was the only one who wrote that. Well, I really do find her character most appealing to me. For her perseverance in achieving her dreams and her different ideologies with the norms.

Though she may be rude, insensitive, selfish and superficial, but her ideologies that went against the norms and for the fact that she dares to try new stuff, I truly admire her guts. However, it does not mean I condone her negative behaviour.

On the other hand, Lena is selfless. She thinks about the family and does thing that benefits the family (example, buying a house for the family with the insurance money).

Ruth's role in the play is a mediator. Lena's daughter-in-law. She leads a difficult life as she has to play the mediator from time to time and put of with his husband's nonsensical scolding.

Thus, I choose Beneatha.

2007-10-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

~~I think~~ I am dreaming.

2007-09-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

I'M GROWING FATTER AND FATTER AND FATTER!

Irony Irony Irony. Life is so full of it.

I'm BORED! Or rather lazy to study. I need shopping thearpy!

2007-09-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

MAKE POVERTY HISTORY

GIVE CHILDREN HOPE!

~~Mary's~~ Stella's going India. I want to.

2007-09-23T23:39:00.001+08:00

At some point of time in life, when you don't feel loved anymore, it shows that it is time for you to love others. So, Justina, perhaps I will never be the best sister in the world or something, but, I will be the BEST sister I CAN be. I promise I will never stop loving you.

Dad says, 'you don't care about me?'
I say, 'yes, I don't care about y0u'

Thanks Brudder! Thanks a lot! Knowing that you care is more than enough. I swear it is. In the midst of all these confusion and conflicts, when hope seems so distanced and far, I see you so close to me. What more can I ask for. THANK YOU BRU. Nothing beats your presences not even those phone calls from you.

I don't know what to do. Or rather, I don't feel like doing anything even as I post this, I'm doing it so very reluctantly.

Sure Mum. So much for love.

2007-09-16T02:36:00.000+08:00

I SWEAR I HATE YOU! FUCK OFF BITCH!

2007-09-15T22:17:00.000+08:00

Some people choose to be loved, well other choose to love.
I personally choose to be loved. How about you?

I need help in POA!

As examinations draw nearer and closer to reality, tension starts growing too. However, just at a much faster pace. I WANT to do well, and so, I WILL do well.
But then again, what if I don't?
There you see, I am doubting myself and my 'capabilities' or perhaps I do not have that much to begin with. Currently, I feel utterly incompetent. Worries bring me no where. What then bring me somewhere? Confident? Where then, can i find confident?

I wish I was more discipline and self-assertive in doing something. As a result, I would probably be in a better class than where I am now. Also maybe a better leader. ~~FUCK!~~ Laziness, downfall of all men. ~~FUCK!~~

We all say 'keep faith' but can we actually do it? Without even doubting God? Even Mother Teresa doubted God presence and love. To place ALL my trust in Him, the high and almighty, I find it most difficult.

What if I can't go ACJC?

2007-09-11T20:12:00.000+08:00

Hello Mortals.
I failed Chinese again. Believe what's right before your eyes Diana! I got 16.5!
I swear Ms Josephine Teo hates me! I WILL prove her wrong! I PROMISE I WILL! WATCH ME! OH Aaron, I think she is a chin-dian.
Yes Alexandra, I'm very competitive just like Dayna. Afraid to lose. I will score better for SS!

Well, in the midst of these all teachers/people who sometimes tend to put your morale down, there someone out there who is looking at you and believing in you! So, thank you Bru, for always believing in me.

'Nothing is impossible once you set your mind to do it.' I WILL achieve whatever I want to or rather whatever I HAVE TO! I WILL ACHIEVE IT AT ALL COST!

I hate to look at myself. To see how fat I am while other are fucking skinny and how pretty they are.

My skin is getting from bad to worse. It's HORRIBLE AND UGLY! : (

'Don't be afraid to Love.' -Joachim

2007-09-10T20:37:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD!
I FAILED MY PHYSICS TEST! Still, I AM HAPPY!

MR BERNARD CHAN BETTER INVITE US TO HIS WEDDING!! He's sure a lucky man.

2007-09-06T00:06:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to appreciate all those walk home accompanied by various people. Very grateful indeed. I'm getting so used to it that sometimes I feel so scare while walking home alone. I wasn't like that before. I fear being alone I fear darkness. At the same time, I also realised that as I grow older, I begin to fear supernatural more and more. So, thank you Joachim, Aaron, Jerome and sometimes Perry for walking me back.

There there.
I always ask myself, 'am I asking too much?. I have yet to ask anyone. Mainly because I don' t dare. Very afraid of how others would judge and thus, I haven't really found an answer yet. However, from my perception and from what I understand, I don't think I am asking too much.

Anger and hatred snowball,
You however, stays indifferent.
Just you wait,
One day when all this backfire,
You will harvest this guilt for the rest of your life.
Never will you lift your head and be the person you use to be.
Today is the day where the game will start,
When I get a new role,
Everything will come to a standstill.
FUCK OFF YOU BITCH! I really hate you!

Just as when I want to seek refuge in you, you turn away. Just like everyone else, you failed to understand. Can't you just hear me out first instead of jumping to conclusion? I will scream at the top of my voice just to be heard!

So much for being a family. I'm growing stronger as an INDIVIDUAL no longer as a family.
I don't want to stand alone.

I feel God drifting away and the devil approaching so close and coming into me. I'm scare.

2007-09-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

It's about time to update I suppose. It's just so sudden that I have lost touch with blogging.

I really don't know where Phoenix got her facts/gossips from, but truly, I TOTALLY disagree. To a very large extend, I disagree with her.

Here are the links to various photo album.

Daphne's party http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/225673

Shine Jesus Shine http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/225675

Sentosa <3 http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/225682

Val's departure http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/209892

08/08/07 http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/225693

2007-09-02T00:04:00.000+08:00

2007-08-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

Cursing and swearing doesn't work anymore! Still, FUCK! ARGHH!! FUCK! I'll take a step back.
BACK TO BASICS!

& Baby, are you leaving yet?

2007-08-20T19:49:00.001+08:00

Old feelings.

I really do feel sorry for my younger sister. I foresee a bright future out of her but then again, is she doing what she really wants? I highly doubt it. What's more, I can't help her out of her situation. Cheers ON younger sister!

Til then, I will learn to understand.

2007-08-19T01:56:00.000+08:00

2007-08-15T23:04:00.000+08:00

Mass was brilliant today. It all started out so fine.

I was reciting the penitential something something, the last part goes, ' I have sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do; '

Relating to what Father Vaz said before, he said something like, ' it's not always about what we did wrong but it's also about what we did not do right or what we ought to do but instead we turn a blind eye' It wasn't that long he said that, at most about two months, but I actually have forgotten about his teaching. How often I pretend not to see and turn away. I felt so degrading? Not helping when we are called to.

The opposite of love is not hate but antipathy.

Sermon was brilliant. 'Despite the war and hatred that's going on, there's still love in Mother Mary' I realised God is always there. However, we sometimes overlook that He's the one at work.

Everything is starting to make sense now. I felt so safe and so calm at church. Mass totally brightened up my day.

2007-08-13T01:05:00.001+08:00

HAPPY HUNGRY GHOST FESTIVAL!

The thought that I have to return to school tomorrow really agnoize me. Just so annoying. I would love to see my friends there but the sight of my Mdm Goh, having got to face her all over again is pure torture. I'm still trying very hard to come to terms with such bias judgement from her.

I'm scare. The script, the design of the weights room, the preparation. What if we can't complete it on time?

Sometimes, I just feel like crying and just breakdown. But no, that's giving myself away. I'm not giving in the my weakness and my fear. Well, maybe I just can't cry either.

Yam, I'm ~~HERE~~

2007-08-12T01:59:00.000+08:00

The child inside me,
The child inside me.
Just wouldn't know how it feels,
Just wouldn't know how it is like to be like you.

So there I go,
trying to understand,
but no,
you wouldn't let me to.
You wouldn't acknowledge that child inside me

Now as I slip away,
Don't ask that child inside me back again.
For that child within me is gone,

You are much detestable.
I'm learning to accept too.

2007-08-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

If you ask me, I say it's a personal attack. How vengeful you can be and how selfish can you get. With much provoking thoughts I still don't see where I have gone wrong. I suppose it all boils down to my implusivity. But then again, it is not as if I don't make sense. It's more of her being unreasonable and her own fear of being expose to everyone about her selfish act behind the scene of track and field. How indifferent and nonchalant she is towards us.

Surely it would be unlikely of me to just swallow this injustice. Where's the humanity. However, this time I am at wits end. I'm not challenging my density anymore I'm giving in. It's all too late to comment on anything now. The verdict is out. I have to pay for what I have not done wrong. At least I know I am not alone.

Thanks Manda! For that affirmation. Track will shine. Jacqueline Chua Si Qi, you will always have my support.

My Mom said, ' Always be positive. If you look at all your problems/troubles on the positive side of view, all your problems wouldn't be troubles anymore. So Stella, always be positive. '

Therefore, on a lighter note, I have FABULOUS friends. Genuine friends who can be called true friends.

Thanks for always being there.

Little Miss Sunshine.

DONUTS ANYONE?

HAPPY

YOU GO GIRL!

Nothing's going to change.

Recalling last week Sunday mass sermon, Father Vaz said, 'Every friend of yours is a gift from God. So share this gift with everyone else. Don't keep holding on to them just like the farmer with lots of harvest instead of sharing, he builds a larger barn.'
I will learn to let go. Though how impossible and difficult it may seem nonetheless is achievable.

Fan, I see you so far away, so distance. Wells, there's a saying, 'no one is indispensable' I suppose you are gone now and forever. How superficial. I can't be bothered anymore. Really. It's tiring.

Thanks everyone for making my day beautiful. Especially Brudder, you really keep me going on. How can I ever thank you enough. Not forgetting Caroline and Cheryl as well, who never failed to brighten my day. I don't need RICE!

Undeterred, I stand strong! & I'm happy!

2007-08-07T23:54:00.000+08:00

FUCK YOU!
There's a limit to everything! FUCK!

2007-08-05T14:39:00.000+08:00

Pictures to Teow's birthday dinner ( http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/209860 )
Pictures to Saturday morning ( http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/209892 )

Nothing's going to change. Everything stays the same. Life goes on.

2007-08-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

Meet Aaron.

Cidade de Deus says (actg1@hotmail.com) : hahah blog abt how great i am.

Aaron is pretty smart, rich, also not bad looking.
BUT he's taken by CYF.

This is for you Aaron Chia teck Guan.

Pray for the Korean Christians in Afghanistan. 2 have been killed the other 25 may be killed anytime.

2007-07-30T22:50:00.000+08:00

Cidade de Deus says:
hahah blog abt how great i am.

TEST AND MORE TEST.
GOODNIGHT YULL. The air is dense.

Brudder, you will always be my brudder. Nothing will change. I assure you. For you have became part of my life.

2007-07-21T01:43:00.000+08:00

As the night goes on,
I'm fading away.

The deafening silence that pierced through my ears,
The air of abandoness envelopes me.
No, I ain't like that.
Turn my frown upside-
Make me happy again.
I choose to ignore and now I'm GONE. Your lost.

This night, I suppose is another ~~bad~~ good night. Bad or good, pleasant or displeasing, ultimately, I'm making the choice. It's so subjective.

I totally agree with Brudder. It's really not easy to let go. To let go something that you have been gripping so tightly. For one moment you grip so tightly, and the next moment you are expected to just let go. How unfair, how inhumane. It's just this feeling that ought not to be spoken, at the same time, it's undeniable. I'm battling this feeling out of me. & I say to myself, 'let go.'

Where's my sister when I need her the most?

Mom is mad at me again. Why am I not surprise.

I feel so emo but I will fabricate my feelings so no one will know how vulnerable I actually am.

I stand tall alone,
With the world so far from sight,
No one to turn to,
I seek for self mutilation.

2007-07-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

Today marks the end of Track meet 2007. To think I said that I can't wait for it to end and today, now at this moment Track meet has really already ended. I wouldn't use the word 'finally' though, again, the past two weeks of track competition passed in a flash. WHOA! Really fast. I really had loads of fun with those fellow trackers especially the relay runners. Skipped school together, slept unglamly at CCK stadium, prayed and cheered together, and the list goes on and on. I'm really going to miss Tyanne and Jamie.

So, today being the last day of competition, in another word FINALS, I was really nervous. I mean, it's going to be a team event and if I make any mistake, I'm letting the whole team down not just myself only. Anyhow, this morning was horrendous! Laura Goh scolded me for being slip-shot. No, she said that the way trackers does stuff is very slip-shot. She's obviously pin pointing at track committee. Of course, I rebut her. She really didn't make any sense.
'Whatever I pass to your will never get to the girls' FUCK! That's an unfair statement. Totally. She added that how last minute we are.

Plus Jeya, my goodness. The world would be a whole lot happier without the existence of the two of them! Jeya was there covering up for Laura Goh. Seriously, like get a life! JEYA IS JUST AN ASSISTANT TEACHER and politically she DOESN'T has a say in track at all. Her nose is fucking big! I swear it is! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! WHO ARE YOU TELL THEM NOT TO TRAIN UNDER MR LOH! MR LOH IS THE COACH NOT YOU JEYA!

Apparently, later the day Jeya lodged a complain to Ms Teo Jinling and now, my leadership role is at stake. Not that I really care about the leadership role what's more I didn't do anything wrong. It's Laura Goh who can't care less about track!

I have so much to say about the two of them! The whole track senior team will sure to quit track if Coach quits! I really hope that Jeya will leave track and so will Laura Goh. They made our track team so segregated! After today, I shall continue to run in JC. Prove Laura Goh and Jeya WRONG! They deserve no respect! As Ms Chong would say, 'do some soul-searching' yull.

Honestly, this year's competition result is not as desirable as last year's. The last thing to do is to give up. & Brudder always tell me that is through small obstacles in life that builds one character stronger.

I really respect Coach. A new found respect for him. As usual, he scolded us today but he really made sense. So much sense. 'Your can't even overcome this obstacle! What can your overcome next time' He was so furious upon realising that B girls withdrew from 4by4.
Though I ain't one of the main runners, but indirectly, I feel so lousy- just like a quitter. Mr Loh was right, during competition, all the fear and anxiety we have are within ourselves. We are battling within ourselves. The feeling of inferiority, the fear that we may come in last. All this are within us and if we CAN'T even overcome or battle this fear in us what more can we do in future.

Perhaps withdrawing from 4by4 would be the guilt I am holding on for the rest of my life. Nonetheless, it's a valuable lesson learnt here. In future, I will run if I am ask to. I will brace myself and run like never before. If only I volunteered myself to run for Jamie, non of this would happen.

One minute you are here, and the next minute you are gone. I'm slipping away.

Savvy?

2007-07-15T21:56:00.000+08:00

It a bad week.

2007-07-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

I'm exhausted. Mentally and Phyiscally.

I don't understand you. Not at all.

FUCK YOU JO TEO! STOP JUDGING ME! FUCKING BIAS BITCH!

I'm doubting myself all over again.

SHOOT ME! ~~I'M EMO!~~

2007-07-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

Against the summer wind where I will go,
To find that place where I beloing.
With a heart so despair,
I see myself so far away.

Spring draws with the flowers withering,
Falls, Falling, Fallen.
Time is lost,
The world is running.

Winter arrives in blistering mist,
Vision so blurred,
I'm lost in you.

Autumn air greets love with tree so bare,
Life meets death with pain so sheer,
~~I give in, I give up.~~
~~To pain shall I surrender.~~

HEY YOU! I think you are a fake!

2007-07-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

I WANT KAYA BUN!

Tyanne Choo ShaoWei germs are really dangerous, strong as well. Just two days ago, I drank for her bottle, taking her germs for granted, and today I feel SICK! Luckily today's first two period was PE and I got to sleep while others played pickel ball. Thankfully I got away from wearing the wrong shorts as well if not it would be two extra round round the track.

Fear not Jamie for the whole Track team is with you.
Happy to say that I broke my ET PB for 100m. I ran below 14s and as a result, Jacque owes me SUBWAY manda owes me ICE-CREAM-I think. Currently standing at 13, I shall aim to get into top8 next year. Train hard! We'll beat Gan Eng San for finals!

It's how intriguing how (Joachim and I) our brudderhood started. It was merely sugar biscuits that brought us close together. And yes, I really do treasure this relationship with him. Thanks Brudder for constantly giving me your assurances. 'Stand by me as how I will stand by you' Yes Brudder, I will.

Presenting my spiritual acquittances.

They say I'm not your kind of girl.

2007-07-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

I shall attempt to blog in Chinese.

我今天很列。真的是很列。今天是第一天那个比赛开始。起初我觉得很害拔但延龄（Jamie)叫我不要拔她说她会一支支持我无论设么。然后我轻松了很多。我是第十五能进入段杰赛。OK! That's it! I ~~give up.~~

So, it's 100m semis tomorrow. Fear plus anxiety. As Cheryl would say, 'submit all to God.', and so I will. 4by100m straight finals tomorrow as well. It's scarier than individual event! You can't possibly let down your team!

I'm going to miss lessons for the whole day tomorrow which suggest more homework and uncertainty in school work. DANG! I'm too tired to do my homework every night. Thanks to training!

Thanks Brudder and Friends, for I know that you guys would be there for me no matter what. For my fear is cast away 'cos of your love and support.

FEAR NOT CHERYL! :]]

Yam or Rice?

2007-07-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

Camelia, who are you? I've lost you.

I really can't bring myself to greet my Dad whenever I see him. I really can't. My relationship with him is so so superficial, with less than 10 complete sentences we exchange each week. Neither can I talk to him for more than 5minutes 'cos we'll probably end up arguing. Dad, I know you don't want to fetch me home or anything but you could put it across in a better manner.

2007-06-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

Recalling during training earlier, I said I will blog about this and that but now, I can't remember a single thing I want to blog about.

In all randomness.

I HATE being a reserve not that I like being the main runners or anything but being a reserve it means you have to go down all the way to CCK and warm up and do nothing after that. DANG! Lucky it's only for a day. Thank goodness, I'm only missing five days of school at most.
WHOA! Competition last for ONE WEEK ONLY! Last year lasted two weeks and few years back it lasted for three weeks. YEA!

Cheryl made a diet plan for me. Yes, I shall start losing weight when competition ends. OH! Yes, it's Haato with HER tomorrow. Our ice-cream talk.

OH YAY! PURE BLISS! We broke our 4by1 best timing. We ran 52.8s and made Coach happy! When he is happy, everything will run smoothly. I still think that he lied about our timing the other day when he was furious and fuming at us. I WILL sleep at 1130 on nights before training.

I saw Fan earlier this morning and WHOA! he really made my day.

I'm addicted to the song 'go the distance' by Disney. Here's a part of it, 'I'll be there someday, I will go the distance, I will find my way, I can be strong, I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while, when I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong.' BEAUTIFUL SONG! So inspirational.

& yes HuiPing, you make a great leader.

HATE ULCERS! I can't speak properly 'cos of my four ulcers! ARGHH! Can you feel my pain!

I WANT TO BE A KID! A KID! A KID! A KID!

I bid farewell here. This blog has be abandon as of now.

2007-06-25T20:41:00.000+08:00

Self Identity.

Making choices daily is so inevitable. So common however yet so unsure. After I passed the baton to Jamie, (it was a bad passing by the way) I started pondering and thinking.

Three years ago, when I was in Sec one, have I made the right choice by joining Track and Field as my CCA? Is Track really for me? Can I train extra hard and be constantly beating my top speed? Is there such thing as the optimum speed where you can't improve any further?

I really don't know. They always say determination will payoff on the other hand you are just not up to it to do this certain task and no matter how hard you try you will never be as good as those natural runners-for instant.
Like how Mrs Wong asked me to move on and said that no matter how hard you try if something isn't for you, you will never be able to attain that desired grade.
So, what is it? I'm LOST!

Spending four years running COMPETITIVELY is something really boring and tiring. If it wasn't for passion, Coach and friends who are constantly there giving me the maximum support, I would have given up halfway. Four years in Track, it's a significant journey of endurance in life. Taught me more than just persevering but also discipline.
'Never give up at the face of adversity'-Atticus.

I shall take up tennis recrea club in school next year, as my second CCA! I shall embark a journey on my new interest.

Two days ago, at SSVP event, this girl came up to me with a small slip of paper written, ' I love you so much'. WHOA! That's the sweetest thing a seven years old girl has done for me. After all, it's the thought that count. Pretty girl.

OH GOODIE! JO got into the next round for CSS.

NINE DAYS TO COMPETITION TYANNE. Bad memories.

~~Mom~~ I says bedtime.

2007-06-22T01:15:00.000+08:00

Blessing in disguise.

HELLO FRIDAY!
It's the last Friday, which marks the end of holiday. I will be seeing Ms Chong again, she who never fails to bring me down. Lu WenShi, whose lessons never make any sense. Mrs Lim, who always look down on us and many many more. Time is not stopping, the world is not waiting. MOVE ON STELLA! MOVE ON!

Well, since it's the last day I can sleep late, I shall, and screw training tomorrow! No matter how fast we run, Mr loh will never be happy nor be satisfied with us! His mood is putting us all down.

'IJ girls are hopeless. Everyday make me angry. Can die you know.' Of course, he will go on and on non-stop about us making him angry. He needs a temper-check. Nonetheless, I still do respect him as a coach. He's someone whom I will definitely look up to but not someone whom I can draw strength from.

'Stella, you are neither here nor there. You'll never be able to succeed in life if you continue like that' -Mr Loh.
Promise, I wouldn't be late for training later.

Chomp chomp! Finally, it's dinner with Cheryl and Caroline. A break from everything. Caroline, I am happy for you! hahas.

I am growing up too fast. I don't want to grow up so fast. I WANT TO BE A KID!

It's 3 in the morning now. God knows what I am doing.
~~God,~~ where is my Ipod video?

I'm going to lose weight! YES! I WILL!

HELLO HAPPY PILLS! Tell me what I am doing and WHY!! I'm lost without direction. Fearing for the new term, caught up with the present.

Diana! Yuen is coming back! I am right-right?

One moment you are here, and the next moment you are gone. I HATE YOU! BE GONE!

I shall listen to Famous Last Words from MCR everyday. This is to remind myself that :
'I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone'

HELLO SISTER! WHY ARE YOU SO DOMINEERING!

2007-06-21T01:22:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COUSIN CALVIN! & I LOVE YOU!

I don't want to die on the track. Competition is in ten days- I think. DREADFUL!

Fan disappeared.

I read the first two lines of Diana's blog and realise that I have FOUR articles to do and THANKFULLY Yam has the article I want. LIFE SAVER! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I lost my POA notes and I shall attempt to find it tomorrow morning and do it in the afternoon with Caroline. Without those notes, POA is ALIEN to me!

Finally, I can see Caroline tomorrow after like how many days without her presence. STARBUCKS!

I want to go Thailand. BRING ME THERE!

Sweet supper with Brudder.

I aspire to be like Ping. Whoa! She can really focus! Get things done and all. Where's my AC shirt Ping!

Friday, and all my homework will be completed! TRUST ME!

There's more in life than just being sad. BE HAPPY AND SMILE! :]]

2007-06-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

For a change, I shall blog what happened yesterday and today instead of blogging for mustard seed first. It seemed to be a chore blogging for mustard seed than a joy.

'Don't frown for it's forever, smile because it happened'
Thank God that I lost $50, thank God that I woke up late for training which contributed to his fiery temper. FUCK! I still think yesterday was a fucking awful day.

It was sentosa with church people yesterday. Surely I had much fun. When everything seems to be a mess I find great joy and sheer jubilation with them.

I went zoo with my two cousins from Indonesia today. The weather is super erratic. It was so much hotter than yesterday. I really dreaded going to the zoo initially, mainly 'cos of homework and all. The only reason why I went was because they are my cousin and it's only right to bring them around and play a good host. Upon reaching the zoo, I saw and could feel how happy and blessed they are to be in the zoo, and thereafter, seeing how they smiled, how excited they were it really did satisfied my thirst for better entertainment and blissfulness.

Mr Loh, Coach, he is in a really bad mood these few days. Every since yesterday, with IJ girls he scolded everyone, and today at ACSi, he scolded everyone as well. The devil must have got into him. I foresee a tough training tomorrow.

Sentosa with Trackers tomorrow. Study or Sentosa? I really want to have fun and all but I suppose fun has to come to an end eventually. So sorry trackers for I wouldn't be joining for guys for sentosa though how badly I really want to. I really do but there's just too much homework left undone and too many chapters yet to be covered.

I hate myself for being so competitive.

'Study some other time' Maybe it's just my mood swing or something but lately, I'm getting really pissed at my Mom. She refuse to let me go out and study at night and want me to go out with my cousin and when I do badly for my exam she ask me to get a tuition! LIKE FUCK! What happened to the understanding side of you? Mom, sometime you really got to hear me out.

I have a sister at home so is so freaking selfish.

In the past, I would so confidently tell me people to trust me and assure them that I know what I am doing. It's different now. I'm lost, battling time with myself and together with life itself. Everything is so messy. I don't even know what I am doing.

BRUDDER; I want dinner.

2007-06-18T00:21:00.000+08:00

It has been a year now.

I really can't find anything to blog about recently. Well, I will just go along as I blog.

CAROLINE IS BACK!! & CHERYL IS ON HER WAY BACK! OH YEA! CHOMP CHOMP!

Deidre has a beautiful voice. She really do! WHOA! It's really really nice listening to hear sing.

I have been blogging for mustard seed competition and now, I shall promote my blog it's http://instantnoodlees.blogspot.com/ . GO! GO! Go read! It's there for a reason.

Training again tomorrow! DANG! I REALLY WANT TO DO RELAY BADLY! At least we suffer as a team!

LAST WEEK OF HOLIDAY NOW! Damn fast! Damn damn FAST! It's Sentosa tomorrow, Zoo the following day then Sentosa again. I shall keep Thursday and Friday solemn, it means studying by the way.

Going back to school meaning seeing Chua YanPing's face which means I will get scolded for not wearing the correct length uniform! C'mon! GIVE ME A BREAK! Just for that last 6months CHUA YANPING! She is going to be the teacher in charge for track next year. OH NO! spells HUGE disaster! Can you imagine!!

Joanna is singing in CSS again tomorrow! VOTE FOR JOANNA! GO JO!

SURPRISINGLY, Fan came over to united square to study with me, though he was rather reluctant to and kept emphasising on how many hours of sleep he had. God knows what he is thinking. For a guy, he does have neat writings. For whatever you have done Fan, I thank you.

LISTEN TO GRAVITY BY EMBRACE. Old school song but it still has it's value!

Mass today was FABULOUS! Homily, said by this Philippine Priest, made so much sense. The moral of the Homily is, God IS mercy, He forgives.

It's two now. Yes, I would probably be late for training tomorrow.

2007-06-17T02:35:00.000+08:00

I wanna marry my stalker-Goldfinger

2007-06-15T00:41:00.000+08:00

YOU ARE FREAKING UNREASONABLE AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT!

2007-06-14T04:06:00.000+08:00

HELLO THURSDAY!

Studying with Rachel turned out into a THREE HOURS gossip session. WHOA! Rachel, you really can talk non-stop!

Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head (I miss you) hey i love you!

Life is hard.

2007-06-12T23:47:00.000+08:00

A day well-spent with Brudder.
It's not a daily affair with him unlike studying which occur so frequently and though in a way it may seem more productive studying, but spending time with Brudder would make a whole lot of differences to my day plus my life.
From running to dinner to supper not forgetting carrom and chinese chess. Great ENTERTAINMENT and PLESSURE!
YO BRUDDER! Truely appreciates your company and your marvellous presences. OH! Thank you so much, for teaching me how to play chinese chess and still I got trashed terribly! Your hair is fine by the way.

& I will be praying for you.

Morning training again! RELAY PLEASE! RELAY!
JACQUELINE LEE SHI MIN! You better come for training yo'!

So, it's not true?

Til then, I wish you well.

2007-06-12T02:58:00.000+08:00

DIE FOR PASSION!

I really hated training today. Firstly, it's too early, secondly, it's freaking hot, thirdly, stadium's track is too big! After while, I just ran for the sake of running instead of running all out or what I am expected to. I died after the first set.
I wonder how I was able to keep up with ten rounds of warm up without complaining which happened two years AGO, and just last year, how I competed in ngee Ann's x-country and Swift's cross country. I guess I will never be able to do it again.
Recalling those times when I use trained at ACS(i), neither did I find it too tough nor unbearable training with those boys. I'm getting OLD!

COME BACK SOON TYANNE! WE NEED YOU FOR RELAY!

On a brighter note, training in the morning get things started for the day.

Studying with Ping was productive. Very productive I must say. I shall make an effort to study everyday.

If only you meant what you say.

2007-06-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

DIE HARD ON TRACK!

2007-06-09T22:44:00.000+08:00

I came across this website which gives you funny yet factual information or accounts. Here are some:

It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

A starfish can turn its stomach inside out.

I watched pirates AGAIN this time with my parents. JOHNNY DEPP IS STILL SEX! He is hilarious! I swear he is!

I'm HUNGRY! It's so dark outside and I'm scare to leave my room. OH DAMN IT! WHERE ARE YOU SISTER!

HELLO FAN! You owe me THREE SUBWAYs for deliberately mentioning Bryan in front of me!

Note to self: it's already the third week of holiday.
Holiday is ending. Yes. Holiday is ending.

'one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.' -Martin Luther King.

Free at last! Free at last!

2007-06-07T20:57:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU BRUDDER AND FAN!

First person I got to thank, Brudder. He came down mass though he was rather reluctant. His presences during mass made a whole lot of difference. Thanks for making that difference Brudder!

Second person who made my day was FAN! THANK YOU FAN! How can I ever thank him enough. He bought me 7 tubes of my favourite gum when he told me he had only gotten me 1! Arh yes, he is a freaking liar! He came over at like 1130 in the morning, told me that he has hidden THE gum in my shoe rack, of course I didn't believe him! It's only when I left my house and was on the bus, on my way to the interchange, then realised that he really hid it there!

Before I left my house, I really did check my shoe rack, and it wasn't there! How blind can I get. Fan then took it back later.
Later in the evening, though he claimed that he was tired nonetheless, he still went to church and met me there. Passed me those tubes of gums and it was PURE JUBILATION! I swear it was! He passed me a whole bag of gums it not just ONE!

So once again, THANK YOU FAN! It may be just gums but all the trouble you went just to pass it to me, it's ~~STUPID~~ yet, it was very much appreciated!
& FAN MING CHIEN! RIDE YOUR BIKE cautiously!

I asked APY (alexandre), 'why CYF leaders are highly discourage to get into a relationship' and I thought I got the perfect answer that I was looking for.

"It's not that we don't allow them to date. Just that youth these days don't understand what is it really mean to be in a relationship. They think that being in a relationship is just concerning the two of them, but it isn't that case. Is about introducing someone new into your life, accepting that someone and living with that someone. But Youths think that it's just about going out for meals, movies etc. All these are just movies, but yet they are so swayed towards this idea. Guys just want a girlfriend and girls just want to have someone to go out with. This is not the idea of having a relationship.."

of course he went on and on and on and on. Beautiful answer.

I was on my way home earlier, and this lady who was standing beside me started talking to me. She said, 'your legs must have hurt a lot right?' WHOA! If only Singapore had more of such wonderful people.

Thanks to Lydia, I'm now penniless.

COUSINS ARE COMING OVER TO SINGAPORE IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS TIME! OH YEA!

Two days ago, I got ticked off by the school's security guard! What a morning to start off the day. DAMN THAT GUARD! I was already hell late for lessons and there he was scolding me reprimanding me for dashing across the barriers which happened last week! There was any cars then! It was also then that Cheryl and I realise Charlotte can't run. Then yesterday, he started nagging at us-trackers again for not entering the school by the side of the barrier but instead by the centre. He nags for a living!

'I love you, but I love the ~~trees~~ more'

2007-06-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

I died on the track today. Competition starts in 28days according to Jamie, the tension is building real fast, the anxiety and uncertainty is growing faster. I don't want holidays to end. I don't want to grow up so fast!

Cheryl will be away from 9-18, Caroline will be away from 12-17 Tyanne will be away from 9 to don't know when. If Tyanne is away, that means I will be training on my own! NO RELAY! NO SHORT SPRINTS! Doing crazy stuff that Jamie and Chua does! Worst than my nightmares!

It has been a while since the last time I dinnered with Brudder and today we had our 2 hours dinner at thomson. He really made my night complete. THANK YOU YULL!

Since Mom doesn't allow me to learn drums, I shall learn it on the sly. She never liked what I enjoy doing.

I was suppose to learn how to cook meatball spaghetti this holiday.

Knock on my door and say that you will entertainment me tonight.

2007-06-05T00:27:00.000+08:00

OH NO! Please don't tell me how unglam I look on TEEVEEE.
JO got in! AH YES! She GOT IN! :]] I suppose supper at chomp chomp have to be postpone til a later date.

OK! I give up guessing who that person is.

I hope that someone return to Cheryl what's rightfully hers.
Cheryl bakes nice muffins! :]]

Finally it is the LAST DAY of school tomorrow! LIKE FINALLY! It has been one week plus and the need to go back to school is annoying. So much for holidays!

Don't feel too sad Diana for Yuen will be back in 20 days! Short isn't it?

I really wish I can go on blogging, but there's more important stuff to attend to.

2007-06-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

Mom and I made up FULLSTOP

Campus superstar tomorrow! VOTE FOR JOANNA TEO YULL! :]]
Coach said he will give Cheryl and I $100 so we can vote for her on his behalf, wonder if he still remembers.

I need to get a high card! ARGHH!

2007-06-02T13:07:00.000+08:00

Well, FUCK!

& I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

And so, Mom is still mad at both my sister and I for returning home last night. Now, here I am ALONE at home and she isn't at home. FUCK! SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF ME STAYING AT HOME MOM! Last night, we came home she refuse to talk to us and fuck so why bother asking us to come home Mom! YOU Don't make sense! With no eye contact, not talking to me is FUCKING HELL NOT making the situation any better!FUCK! IS THIS HOW YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE ME STAY HOME ALL DAY AND ALL WEEK! FUCK! How happening can my Saturday get!

Mom, are we growing up too qiuckly?

2007-05-31T23:47:00.000+08:00

& he is away.

HAPPY VESAK DAY TO ONE ALL!

LITERATURE AND MORE LITERATURE;
TRAINING AND MORE TRAINING.

I wish upon a shooting star,
that may an Ipod video drop down from the sky.

2007-05-31T02:27:00.000+08:00

THANKS TYANNE AND STEPHANY who so generously and willingly bought me lunch though I didn't ask for one. THANKS YOU GUYS! Really heartening.

I didn't get to start off my day really right today. Having got to run out of the my house's gate and trying to hail a cab for whole 5 minutes and running up to class realising I am still late. How annoying! I shall wake up one hour fifteen minutes before lesson starts in future.
Four hours of literature wasn't that bad afterall though it was rather dry at times, nonetheless, it was a good lesson taught by two admirable teachers.

Literature lesson training and more literature and more training. How happening!

One word to describe training: lamentable

Cheryl and I are planning this weekly diet meal thing. YEA! So Loh will stop calling us FAT.

I feel like eating yam cake.

If I die, who will cry? WILL YOU?

Nothing is plan ahead. I suppose I will sleep til noon and spend quality time with family!

Fan is leaving in 6 hours and he will be back in 5 days.

Brudder left me with this, 'dun focus on the days left la, focus on what you can do with the time available'

I'm ~~not~~ afraid to walk this world alone

SUBWAY ANYONE?

2007-05-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YAM ~~CAKE~~! DO YOU?

OH JESSICA! You came! How pleasantly nice.

Surprisingly during lit lesson today Ms Teo caught me dreaming for that split second, can't even remember what was I dreaming of. It's only an hour thirty minutes today, but tomorrow, it's freaking FOUR HOURS with thirty minutes break in between. It's going to be torturous! I will probably lose the teacher half way through. Not forgetting the fact that I have training at 315 after FOUR hours of lit lesson! Some kind of holiday! Can we postpone Nicole Teo's lesson to next week? PRETTY PLEASE!

Let's go Cheryl! We'll shop again!

I want some good sugarcane to satisfy me.

I don't get to SUBWAY tomorrow! : (

Tyanne, let's go ACSi for training! When i feel fast enough that is.

2007-05-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE SALES!

The ice-cream man failed me! He didn't turn up at my void deck today! I WANT SOME ICE CREAM!

I want an Ipod video! Does anyone want to get it for me? I'll trade a mini with you.

WHO IS HEE HAW?

I didn't die on the track today, and seriously, training is getting slacker and slacker compared to last year like what we did. I suppose it's the lack of discipline in the team and that Mr Loh is getting sick and tired of scolding us everyday. In the past, he will go on and on how talkative IJ girls are and they will for sure win champion in a talking competition.

I slept half of my day away. Even at two, I was so reluctant to wake up for training. Lit lesson at 10 tomorrow. I foresee Jo Teo coming in to class at 1030 saying that she has forgotten that she suppose to have lit lesson with us. TRUST ME!

Johnny Depp is sexxed!

Hey Darling, where have you been lately?

Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you

2007-05-27T21:07:00.000+08:00

I said that Fan is a really fun guy really jovial and light-hearted and Caroline replied me, cos he is called Fan(fun) that's why he is fun. Oh Caroline. Can you imagine her laughter that sounds like a hyena. hahas. I bet that 'hee haw' person is Fan luh. IS IT or is it not.

So it was Saturday night, indeed it was well spent. Watched pirates with Bert, Joachim, Jerome, Aaron not forgetting my wonderful sister. Surely, it's a great movie, great storyline plus action. It's 2hours 45minutes by the way. Real LONG.

Norman is at camp. God knows when he will be back.

Here comes Sunday. Woke up real early for some walkathon which was extremely boring, it was the worst cip ever done. I rather carry newspapers.

I want to go for the school's mission trip. I hope that NYAA will be postponed to the third week of November, in this way, I can go for the mission trip plus NYAA and I wouldn't miss confirmation camp. IF NYAA isn't postpone, I will have to miss the first two days of my confirmation camp! ARGHH!! PRAY PRAY PRAY!
No lit lesson tomorrow! PURE BLISS! This means that I can wake up LATE and no one will bother me! ALRIGHT! :]] There's still training though.

Meet Coach, Mr Loh.

Thanks Cheryl!

Here's Caroline, bestfriend.

Meet Charlotte who misses Marianne.
Not forgetting Jacque Lee.

Nonetheless, nothing beats the company of Budder! Thanks yull!

Reviving history.